Connecting to Connection

What a beautiful morning!

This morning I got a whiff of spring. Yes, I smelled it. Don't you all have those experiences? Sure you do. People can smell snow, autumn, and spring in the air. Mothers can even smell a fever breaking out in their children. I know I can.

I know that it's not proper to brag about oneself, but I personally have one exception to that rule, and that is because I am very proud of that exception. I am a First-Class Nurse, with capital letters. We call the trade an art-form, when we have the clinical experience that enables us to sense detailed nuances, and before things happen. We train and fine-tune our senses, and we communicate with them. It enables us to understand the needs of patients that can no longer speak. It allows us to sense when death is approaching, so that we may adjust and prepare. It sends us running down the hall to a hospital room where a patient is about to enter cardiac arrest, and before it shows up on the monitor.

The reason why we are so proud of this ability, is because it takes years to develop it. To develop it is a complex effort on many levels, and far from all nurses cultivate it. At the same time, it is difficult for others to understand how amazing it is, and how valuable it is. It allows us to connect with our patients, and to connect with people in general. When I cannot connect with people and situations surrounding me, I feel that a little part of me dies inside. It sounds terribly dramatic, but that is how it is. I have a need for connection beyond the superficiality of that which usually is, and I am very fond of it. My career spoiled me in that way, because it taught me to feel the pure joy of this experience.

It has nothing to do with superstition, and there is nothing hocus-pocus about it. It is very real, and it is an extremely useful tool. Occasionally, it can be difficult. This is because I feel that it becomes a part of who we are, and that means that it becomes a permanent aspect of how we perceive situations. So, sometimes we perceive with a little more depth, and others can think that what we say and do, seems a little foolish. I know that I can feel a little foolish when others do not believe what I express. It can cause me to question that which I am perceiving. Yet, put me back into a medical environment, and with like-minded individuals and talents, and I am "right on the mark". This is always a reminder to trust myself. I have certainly been priveleged to work with some amazing colleagues, and it is an experience that really cannot be expressed in words.

Anyhow. Where was I? Ah, yes. This morning. I took my coffee down by The Landing this morning. We had a bit of a lightening storm yesterday evening, and it's still a little cloudy. Yet, despite the bare trees, there was spring in the air. I engaged in a little meditation while soaking it in, and when I opened my eyes, I saw movement from the corner of my eye. A squirrel was by the base of a tree next to me, and it was sitting calmly, glancing in my direction. As I lifted my gaze above the little creature and looked out over the water, I saw two eyes and the crown of a head. Yes, that is correct! The first alligator I've seen in a long time.

I caught myself smiling at the sight, and broadened the scope of my view. There was life all around me. Two large birds swept past me close to the water's edge, and I saw that one of them was carrying breakfast in its beak. As I glanced to the right, there was a majestic stork-like bird sitting on the neighbor's wooden fence, with its one leg tucked under it. It was basking in the rays of sunlight that came through the clouds. At closer range I caught a glimpse of two small lizards chasing each other down a tree. Well, the one was chasing, but we won't talk about that. They, too, deserve their privacy.

At that moment I felt connected. My breathing lightened, and relaxation peacefully sank in over me. It can get a little lonely around here, yet in that split moment, I felt that I was in very good company.