Personal Development- Quieting worry.

With such fantastic insight and contributions that come forth in the comment sections, I many times think that the inspiration should transpire into further exploration of certain subjects. I decided while overseas, that the last post was one such example, and I'd like to take that opportunity as it passes me by. This means, of course, that I'm still on the subject of 'worry', before I send the ball rolling onward.

Have you ever heard of the little example of the mother that continuously reminds her child to be careful, and not spill his glass of milk each time he pours himself one? Her intention is not a demeaning one, it is rather a simple wish to not have to clean up the mess of an accident. The point is that it may not ever have happened, or perhaps it happened once or twice. Yet, the parent expects that it may, and what it will lead to, and to avoid this outcome the answer is, to be more careful. The child becomes nervous that he will spill his milk, because afterall, he IS not careful. The worry in her eyes tells him so, as she hawk-eyes him on his way to the counter or table. What happens? With time he begins to spill his milk out of nervousness.

You don't have to believe me, but expectations derived from worry, many times manifest into reality. Worry is not a natural function of the core of our nature, to be a little redundant. Worry is cultivated.

We can actually take those worrisome thoughts that randomly occur from old habit, and make them a part of our conscious thoughts. We decide how we view the past, today, and future events. We can decide if we want to meet life from premises of negativity, positivity, and even neutrality. We can self-talk ourselves up, and we can talk ourselves down. This is no newfangled idea, it is the simple principle of good 'ole biofeedback. This principle no longer being a question, but a proven physiological fact. It is impossible to work as a healthcare professional, without seeing this in play, each and every single day.

The bottom line is that we choose, which emotion we wish to attach to certain happenings, or future possible happenings. For those of us who meditate in our own unique manners, we have the pleasure of experiencing those moments where thought is quieted in the mind. From those moments, comes the simplistic realization of how busy our minds usually are throughout everyday life. It is as if a light turns on, and insight comes flooding in.

Capable of quieting the mind for a few moments each day, we give our bodies some necessary rest, and begin to realize that we are capable of much more to promote our own well-being. The potential is amazing. The impact of self-responsibility hits home, and it becomes easy to see how the past is often blamed on randomness, or the actions of others. Life no longer just happens to us. We also gain a choice in how we choose to meet it.

I mentioned in the last post that the most common outcomes of worry are; more worry, and control. Little else ends up happening. Yet, if we all look back in time, we can see that we survived most of the apples that were either self-picked, or rolled our way, whether they seemed sweet or sour, "at the time". How? Well, through the strength that already resides within ourselves. I cannot find an English word for this strength that is more beautiful than the Norwegian word, "kraft", with an 'ah' sound, and a powerful rolling, 'r'. Not even the words 'personal power' measure to the depth of, kraft.

When we forget these things, life loses its naturalness, and we stop letting our core nature work on our behalf. One thing is certain. Life will continue to happen, until it no longer happens. Situations come, and they go. Just as day follows night, and night follows day. Neither positive, nor negative, it is simply the ebb and flow of life. The only discomfort we feel are the specific emotions we attach at any given point on these flowing curves. Likewise, there are no bad choices. There are only choices. Each choice leads to a new set of experiences and learning, yet worry often leads to non-choice in its stagnating and paralyzing effects.

So, what are your experiences out there? Have you ever been in a close relation with someone that worries a lot? What was it like? Or, what types of worries do you observe in others and society around you? What are your spontaneous thoughts about the subject?

Related articles:
Personal Development- Mindful Matters
Personal Development- Worry. The first culprit


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©Tamera Daun
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