What's up with kids today?

As you develop, things change. Likewise, as circumstances change, you develop. As written in the last post, people would like to be happier, more successful, healthier, and have relationships that are more loving and satisfying. If people didn't want better, they would not be working so hard in their everyday lives, in order to attain better.

The first dilemma rears its head when considering the best place to begin. A second dilemma is initiating personal development in the unknowingness of what will happen. Expectations are crucial to the process, whether they be perceived as positive, negative, or neutral.

Now, I have to tell you all. The subjects that engage me the most, are the subjects of 'change', and personal relationships/marriage. They are incredibly fascinating, and with regard to change, there is so much positive potential that resides in the concept. There is enormous dormant opportunity, and it is sometimes excruciating to observe the potential, 'unused'.

I have worked with people, and processes of change for the past fourteen years, and began writing about the subject six years ago. As I researched and wrote, Absolute Bliss, a major theme became apparent. All of my professional experience kept nagging at me in the writing of a book that had the purpose of helping people. In much reading material that can be found out there, very little prepares people for what they can expect to experience. I'm talking about the tiny nitty-gritty details of the ups, and downs. I had to, and did, include this in my work.

The nitty-gritty of the process is where people usually give up. They are often times set up to feel like failures, although it is not the intention. Of course it isn't. Yet, knowledge of what can be expected in oneself, and the reactions that can be expected from one's surroundings is so very vital in perceiving development and change as positive. Even perceiving it as neutral is better than negative, because it is the negative that stops people from moving on. Most of us can agree on this, right?

What has always engaged me the most about the two previously mentioned subjects is the fact that children are affected. They are a population group in our society that have to accept all change that is imposed upon them. They have little choice, and for natural reasons.

Adults do their best, from what they know. We adults do not do better, until we know more. When we know more, we gain the opportunity to do differently. This is a point of empathy and compassion for the adult population. Adults try to instill good behavior, and important values in their children. You don't even have to be a parent to be of importance. If you've ever been observed by a child, then you have played a role in the perception of their world.

However and to be bluntly honest, here is the bottom line. We adults need to do better, and that means that we need to increase our knowledge, and begin intitiating. We need to initiate within ourselves, and be more concerned with what we do, rather than what we say. This is because we 'say' a lot to children, but we often times do not walk our talk, and this incongruence and non-alignment is what we end up teaching.

We can encourage our kids to engage in activities that will strengthen their sense of confidence, and self-esteem. Yet, the fact that outer recognition is only half of the equation of their sense of self-esteem, is important knowledge. We can tell children to behave, get along, and cooperate. However, they don't buy into that when we show them the opposite, behind closed doors in our marriages. We adults would like for our children to have healthy relationships with themselves, yet behind those same closed doors, we teach them through example, the opposite. We want them to mature, yet we show them, and many times treat them, with emotional immaturity. We, ourselves, have not learned how to mature our emotions into adulthood.

Then we turn around and complain, "Geesh. Kids today", with a disapproving shake of the head.

If adults would like a few excellent lessons in dealing and adapting to change, they would benefit from observing their children. They are experts in adaptation. Not only are they experts, but they are wise little people in explaining how the process actually feels. The younger they are, the more in touch with their emotions they tend to be. They may not have fancy words to explain them, but they are often times in better contact with themselves, than adults are.

Children don't mind seeing their parents make mistakes, but they love seeing their 'human' parents develop and do better, even more. Why? Because, they love you, and they are eager to learn when they get a whiff of positive happenings in progress.

Please take a couple of minutes to read 'for content', this ancient archived and short article, Commentary. It begins on page 1, and continues and ends on page 3.

I know what I know, but let me hear you shout out your opinion.

Related articles;
What's up with change?
How are You?


©Tamera Daun, www.pentad.no